I Would've Never Thought: The Prequel
by youreananimal
Summary: The prequel to "I Never Would've Thought". Its moments in the ups and downs of Hannah and Spencer's relationship. It doesn't matter which story you read first, so please enjoy. No pairings except Reid/OFC and the team will make an appearance eventually.
1. Meeting Her

**For all you "I Never Would've Thought" readers, I hope you enjoy the prequel. If you read my first story, some references you will understand. For my new readers, I hope you give both of my stories a chance. Like I said in the summary, it doesn't matter which one you read first. Things are explained and reexplained in both. This story will probably go from Hannah and Spencer meeting to Emily's "death", but we can't forget all the ups and down in between. Reviews are appreciated. Enjoy. **

Spencer Reid was sitting in a lecture hall at NYU. A girl walked over. She had wavy brown hair that stopped right past her shoulders and bright blue eyes.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked.

"Not at all," he said quietly. She sat down. She looked at him and smiled a little.

"My name's Hannah. Hannah Pelletier," she said.

"Uh Spencer Reid," he said.

"So are you majoring in American History?" she asked.

"N-No. I just graduated from Cal Tech and I'm trying to figure out what I should do next. Are you?" he said shakily.

"Cal Tech? Wow," she laughed. "No. I'm an international business major. I'm minoring for fun. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a nerd."

"Not at all," he said. It was funny she didn't understand the irony of that comment.

"So you're what, like eighteen?" she said interested. He nodded. "And you just graduated college?"

This was usually the point where people lost interest and he was preparing for her to just never speak to him again.

"Yeah. I graduated high school when I was twelve," he said. He automatically regretted it.

"Seriously? That's awesome," she said with excitement. "Are you thinking of going to NYU next year?"

"I don't know. I really like MIT," he said. She laughed.

"So you're a science and math guy?" she asked. He nodded.

"Totally not my thing," she said. "I have a chem class this semester and I'm totally screwed. Maybe you can help me when I need it."

"I'll try," he said. She smiled.

"Everyone have their seats? Good, because the people to your left and right will be next to you for the rest of the semester." the professor said. Spencer subtly looked over at Hannah and he could've sworn he saw her smile.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since the class started. Reid sat down and looked at Hannah. She was passed out on top of her textbook. He wasn't sure if he should wake her up or wait until the professor walked in. He decided he'd wait. A few minutes later. He tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped awake. Reid took out a piece of paper and wrote:

_ARE YOU OKAY?_

He slid it over to her. She opened it and smiled. She shook her head no and then took out her pen.

_I_ _STAYED UP UNTIL 4 TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF EQUILIBRIUM..._

She slid the paper back over to him. He laughed silently. She looked at him and mouthed,"its not funny."

He turned the paper over and wrote:

_I'LL HELP YOU AFTER CLASS... NO AFTER YOU TAKE A NAP._

She read it and nodded her head. Class ended and they went their separate ways.

* * *

Hannah slept for two hours and called Spencer when she woke up. They met up at a coffee shop. He spent three and a half hours teaching her chemistry.

"Do you get it now?" he asked.

"Sure," she said.

"At least better than you did?" he asked. She laughed.

"I think so," she answered.

"What time is your test tomorrow?" h asked.

"10," she said.

"Good luck," he said. He got up.

"Wait. Where are you going?" she asked.

"I have a math test tomorrow," he said.

"Oh. We should do this again some time. Without the studying part," she said, "Good luck."

"You too."

* * *

Reid was walking into the lecture hall where his History class was.

"Spencer!" Hannah yelled running up to him.

"I got a B+!" she said and hugged him. "Thank you! Thank you!"

He was startled by her hug.

"Thats great," he said.

"Do you want to hang out later? Go to central park or something?" she asked.

"S-Sure," he answered. He wondered if she was actually asking him out on a date or just as friends. He was starting to like this girl.

* * *

"So where are you from?" she asked.

"Las Vegas. You?" he answered.

"Annapolis. I'm what most would call an army brat. Although I don't think I am a brat... or maybe saying that is calling myself one. Whatever," she said and he laughed.

"So your dad's in the army?" he asked.

"Yes sir," she answered.

"How was that?" he asked.

"It was interesting. It had its perks. I'm really close with both my parents. What about you?" she answered.

"My mom was a 15th century literature teacher and my dad left when I was ten. I haven't talked to him since then," he said quietly. That's all he would say for now. He didn't know where things would go from here.

"Oh," she said, "I bet your mom's really proud of you though. Are you close with her?"

"I write a letter to everyday," he said.

"Thats so sweet," she said. She paused.

"Have you ever mentioned me in any of those letters?"

"The next one if you want," he said. She laughed. He did actually write about her but he wasn't going to let her know. They walked around Central Park for a little and learned a lot about each other. They stood in front of her building.

"That was fun," she said.

"Yeah," he said. She smiled.

"Goodnight," she said.

"Goodnight," he replied. She looked at him and kissed his cheek. She was shocked by what she just did and so was he. They made eye contact and she smiled slightly.

"Sorry," she said.

"No its okay," he said.

**This was just a little intro. I will update soon. **


	2. Diana

Hannah was sitting on the floor of Reid's apartment in New York. She was leaning against his couch sitting cross-legged and eating chips.

"Hey Spencer," she said.

"Yeah," he said.

"You never talk about your parents," she said. He walked out of the kitchen.

"That was random. Why does it matter?" he asked.

"Well, I was looking at the picture over there of you and your mom. Just got me thinking about it," she said.

They had been dating for almost ten months now. She seemed to be understanding about everything else, she would understand this. He walked over to her and looked down.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"I mean if you don't want to tell me. I've never met her and you've met my parents tons of times," she said. He sat down on the couch and she put the bag on the table and pulled herself onto the couch.

"She's schizophrenic," he said. He didn't stall he just blurted it out. She looked at him with sad eyes.

"You didn't want to tell me that?" she asked.

"I did... I just, I don't like to talk about. It's my fault she is where she is and it makes me feel guilty." he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I basically forced her into a sanitarium before I came here. She just, she couldn't take care of herself anymore," he said.

"You did it to help her, right?" she asked. He nodded.

"If she's better than she was then I don't think you have anything to be guilty about," she said.

"I know... It's just, it's complicated," he said.

"Did you think I was going to think of you differently because of that?" Hannah asked.

"I don't know. Most people do," he said.

"I don't. I could never," she said,"I mean I could be partial but I think she did a

great job raising her son. He's smart and sweet and not too bad looking."

He laughed and she smiled.

"I was planning to visit her before I start MIT," he said, "You should come."

"I'd love to," Hannah said.

"I write about you," he said.

"And say what exactly?" she asked.

"Just about your personality and stuff we do together," he said.

"Does she approve?" she asked.

"I mean she hasn't said anything to assume otherwise," he said

"But she hasn't met me yet," she smiled.

"She'll love you," he said. Hannah looked at her watch. She jumped up.

"It's 11:30!" she said looking at him.

"Hannah it's summer," he said laughing, "You don't have any classes."

"Yeah but I have to drive back home and it's so late," she said.

"Stay over," he said. She looked at him.

"Are-Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"Okay," she smiled.

About a month later Hannah and Spencer left for Las Vegas. Hannah was nervous on the way to meet his mom.

"What if she doesn't think I'm good enough for you?" she asked.

"Hannah, your nervous about how my mom is going to react? Your dad is a soldier and going to meet him for the first time was a lot scarier than this," he said. She smiled.

"Thats true. I just think she's going to expect more than... Than me," she said. He looked at her. Her long brown hair was curled loosely and she had a little bit of makeup on. She was in jean capris and a pink shirt.

"I think she'll love you," he said. Hannah got out of the car and followed Spencer. He greeted Diana's doctors and talked to them for a little. He walked down the hallway and knocked on a door.

"Hi mom," he whispered. Diana looked up from the book she was reading and smiled.

"Spencer. Come in," she said. Reid grabbed Hannah's hand and walked into the room. They both sat down. Diana smiled.

"I don't think Spencer did a very good job of describing how beautiful you are in his letters because you're more beautiful then I expected," Diana said. Hannah smiled.

"Thank you," she said."Its nice to meet you finally."

"You too. I always knew one day he would find someone special," Diana said. Reid looked at Hannah and smiled. _She's definitely something special,_he thought.


	3. Tragedy

**That's right guys, TWO CHAPTERS! For those of you who have read I Never Would've Thought, you basically know what happens, BUT it offers an actual way of how things played out. This story will mention 9/11 a lot, so be prepared. It's the first rough patch in their lives, but there will be many more to come. Please enjoy. Reviews are appreciated!**

Reid was in south Carolina for a conference. He had talked to Hannah last night. She had returned to NYU at the end of august. He missed her. They'd been dating for a little over a year. He met her parents toward the end of the summer and she met Diana. They seemed to get along well and Diana thought she was perfect. He was sitting in the middle of a talk. It was a little after eight in the morning. He was entranced in the professor that was speaking. He was really interested in psychology. He started to think about how maybe if he chose one field he could figure out what he wanted to do after school. His thought process was interrupted by a guy who ran in the room.

"An airliner just crashed into the world trade center!" he said urgently.

"What?" the professor said shocked and whispers among the students started.

"What tower?" Reid asked nervously.

"The north," the man replied. Reid's heart rate went down. "they're evacuating now. Put on fox, CNN every station's got it on." he said. The professor walked over to the computer and put the news on the big screen. The students sat in there seats looking at each other and the screen in disbelief.

"Probably pilot error," one student said.

"So many people in that building," Reid said. He was just glad it wasn't the south tower. Hannah was probably out of the building and safe in her dorm already. He picked up his phone to call her. He looked up for a second at the screen and noticed gray race across the screen and a second explosion. The room was completely silent. Reid sat there staring at the screen hoping that what just happened wasn't real.

"No..." he said quietly. His heart was racing. He had never been so scared in his life. She was eighteen she couldn't be dead. He picked up the phone and dialed with shaking hands. It Rang for what seemed like forever.

"Hey. I'm not here at the moment. Leave a message and I'll call you back. I promise." he closed his eyes and hung up. He dialed again.

Voicemail. And again. Voicemail. And again. Voicemail. And again voicemail.

"Dude you've been dialing the same number for twenty minutes I don't think they're going to answer. I'm sure they're watching this on tv," a student next to Reid said.

"No. She was in that building," he said and swallowed tears. Reid walked out of class and sat in his car. He tried another twenty minutes of calling and for voicemail every time. He called eighty times so far. He'd try 10 more times. He was eight in and there was an answer.

"Hello?" Reid asked.

"Are you a relative of Hannah Pelletier?" the man asked.

"N... No. I'm her boyfriend. What happened to her is she okay?" he asked with urgency.

"I'm Dr. Maysen. NYU medical center. Hannah's in surgery right now. She was in a car accident this morning.

She's got a few broken ribs, punctured lung, and her spleen ruptured," he said.

"Wha...? Is she going to live?" he asked shakily.

"If she fights. She was pronounced dead on the scene but they revived her, but coded on the way to the hospital. She's bleeding a lot from the spleen rupture but her surgeons are trying. New York is crazy right now. Were working on contacting her family but the phone lines are all screwed up I don't know how you got through. I have to go, we've got a ton of patients from the towers." the phone beeped and he sat back. She was dying, but not from the reason he thought. He figured he should call her parents. He dialed stacey's number.

"Spencer! Please tell me you've heard from her. I keep calling but I'm getting her voicemail or a busy tone. She can't be dead. I can't lose my little girl," she was hysterical.

"Stacey," he said,"I just talked to a doctor from NYU. She was in a far accident she didn't make it to work this morning. She wasn't in the building,"

"A car accident? Is she okay?" she asked. She was a little more calm then before, but was still crying.

"She's pretty bad. She's in surgery right now. She'll make it if she wants to. She won't let herself die. You know her." he said.

He sat there in his car. He didn't want to lose her. She was the first girl he really had deep feelings for. He hadn't been with many girls, but she seemed like she'd be around for a while. He didn't know what else to do so he drove. He figured he'd stop in Maryland and try to get to New York with Hannah's parents. There were no flights anywhere in the country so it would take a while. He drove the eight and a half hours to Annapolis and the three of them drove the four hours to New York City. Stacey cried as they drove and the radio just talked about the events that occurred that day. Reid sat in the back of the car thinking of what he would do if anything happened to her. No one spoke.

"She'll pull through," he said.

"She will," Ryan, her father, said and Reid watched him grab his wife's hand and held it the rest of the car ride there. They managed to get through New York and sat in the waiting room for what seemed like forever.

"Hannah Pelletier," a doctor said. Ryan, Stacey, and Spencer stood up.

"Her car was hit by an escalade going ninety six miles an hour. The driver died on impact. She wasn't breathing but the paramedics managed to revive her. We lost her in the ambulance a few times, but we managed to get her into surgery. She has nine broken ribs from the crash and CPR. One of her lungs was punctured and her spleen ruptured. We had to take that out so she will be on medication for the rest of her life. That was the worst injury. Other than that she has bruises and cuts. She'll be here for a while. I'll come back in when she wakes up. She might try to talk to you, depends how she handles everything," he said.

"But she's alive," Stacey asked.

"She's alive," he said. Stacey sat down.

"How are we going to tell her?" she asked.

"Tell her?" he asked. Reid stepped forward.

"Hannah was supposed to be in the south tower of the world trade center this morning. She missed work because of this accident. She was on the sixtieth floor. She doesn't know about what happened," Reid said.

"Wow. She's lucky this is the worst that happened to her. I'll speak to her other doctors on how we should do this," he said.

"Thank you," Reid said teary eyed he nodded and walked away. The three of them waited another two hours and then they were finally able to see her. They walked into her room. Her eyes were closed and under her eye was black and blue. She had stitches above her left eye brow and she looked like she was in a lot of pain. Stacey sat down next to her and grabbed her hand.

"Hannah," she said. She opened her eyes slowly. "Do you know where you are?"

"I know. Two minutes... Earlier... I would've been at work. I was late," she whispered. The three of them looked at each other.

"How'd you get a flight?" she said exhausted.

"We uh we drove sweetie," Ryan answered. Her two doctors were standing in the room as well. She moved her head a little and managed a small smile.

"Spencer," she said. "I wouldn't have left like that." a tear slid down the side of her face. "I didn't want to die."

Stacey started crying. They stayed for another hour.

"Can you put CNN on?" she whispered.

"Hannah you need your rest," the doctor said.

"I know, but please," she said.

"Hannah. Listen. We need to tell you something," the other doctor added. Stacey was too busy crying to speak.

"Four airliners were hijacked today by terrorists. One crashed in a field in Pennsylvania, another into the pentagon," Spencer said and trailed off.

"Hannah. The last two. They each hit one of the twin towers. They both collapsed shortly after." Ryan said. Hannah sniffled and tears fell.

"Just put on the news," she said.

"Hannah I don't think you wan..." Spencer said.

"Just do it," she interrupted. She closed her eyes and listened as they replayed the events and talked about the dead and the missing. Her heart rate dropped significantly. Her surgeon rushed over to her.

"We'll find someone for her to talk to, but I think the best thing is for you to leave and let her regain some strength," the other one said.

**Awww. You shall all see how both of them deal with this in future chapters.**


	4. Aftermath

**GUYS! I AM SOOOO SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG! COLLEGE APPLICATIONS ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE AND I'VE HAD NO FREE TIME TO EVEN GATHER MY THOUGHTS! I APOLOGIZE AGAIN. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!**

**PS:THIS CHAPTER HAS SOME SUICIDE MENTIONS, CUTTING, AND TALK ABOUT DEATH. SO IT COULD BE TRIGGERING.**

It was about two weeks after the accident. Hannah was gaining a lot of strength back, but she still was in the hospital. She didn't talk much after she found out what had happened. She had found out that a lot of her co workers and a few classmates had died. Reíd visited her everyday. Hannah was allowed home a month and a half after the accident. She went back to Maryland to live with her family for a little. She kept to herself most of the time doing classwork at home. She was seeing a therapist twice a week to talk about how to deal with everything. As much as Hannah said she was helping, she wasn't. Reid was over one night when the news came on.

"Don't they ever stop talking about this?" Hannah asked angrily. "All they mention is who did it. Who cares? No one cares about the people. They had families and friends! Why aren't they still talking about them?"

Hannah pulled on her sweatshirt sleeves and folded her arms. Spencer looked at Stacey.

"They care, Hannah," Stacey said.

"It sure as hell doesn't seem like it," Hannah replied with attitude. She got up walked upstairs and slammed her door.

"She's not getting any better," Stacey said.

"Its going to take time, but I've noticed it too. She doesn't talk much anymore and she's always on edge," Reid said.

"She won't get in a car," Stacey said. "To go to therapy but she shakes and she's always looking out the windows. We can't get her to want to drive again."

"She's going to need so much help. Spencer, Ryan's going to Afghanistan next month," Stacey said to him.

"She doesn't know," he said. Stacey shook her head.

Upstairs Hannah sat in her room leaning against the wall. She pulled up her sleeves and looked at her wrists. She had started a week after she came home. The cuts were in all different stages of healing. She opened the drawer in her desk and pulled out the broken piece of glass from her mirror. She didn't know why she was doing it, but for whatever reason it made her pain go away. She looked at the glass and pushed it into her wrist and in a straight line moved it along her skin. It hurt just for a few minutes but in those few minutes she didn't think about anything else but the pain in her wrists. What happened to her and the people she knew was forgotten until her wrist stopped hurting. She grabbed a paper towel and held it to stop the bleeding. She knew she could kill herself one day, she didn't want to, but she didn't care. It's just to forget she thought, for just a few minutes.

Reid noticed her change in neve wanted to hold hands any more and she was constantly pulling her sleeves down. Reid would try to talk to her, but she couldn't hold a conversation. It was like her mind was somewhere else. Reid ended up going to MIT and he would call her everyday, but sometimes she wouldn't answer. It would ring twice and then it would go straight to voicemail. He thought about ending it, but he loved her and knew the last thing she needed was for him to leave. She never knew how Hannah found out her dad was leaving, but he recieved a call at 3:30 am. He answered and for the first time in days he heard her voice.

"My dad's leaving and I... Just talk to me Spencer," she said quietly, "About anything. Just talk."

He could tell she was crying. He tried everything he could to make her feel better. Hannah's therapist suggested talking with other grieving people. Hannah started to visit her best friend's mom. Lindsay and Hannah had known each other since 6th grade and Hannah found out she had jumped from the 78th story. As her visits progressed Hannah noticed Lindsay's mom had been depending more and more on alcohol. One night Hannah went over. It was two weeks before Christmas. Lindsay's mom answered the door and immediately started screaming at Hannah.

"Its your fault Lindsay died!" she yelled. "It should've been you!"

Hannah walked into the kitchen and noticed a broken bottle of vodka. She picked up a piece, went upstairs, and closed the bathroom door. She barely remembered anything after that. She remebers Lindsay's brother Chris calling her name and calling 911, but everything after that was gone. She woke up in a hospital bed. Her wrists were bandaged. She tried to sit up, but was overcome with dizziness.

"Relax Hannah," a nurse said. Hannah felt horrible. The next thing she knew her mom walked in the room in hysterics. She hugged her.

"I'm sorry mom," she said.

"Why?" Stacey asked and Hannah just started crying. Hannah laid back down because she still felt light headed and nauseous.

"You can't tell Spencer I did this," Hannah whispered. "You can't tell him I wanted to kill myself because I didn't."

After that experience Hannah realized what was happening to her. Reid stayed with Hannah's family for most of his Christmas break. When he first arrived he was greeted by Hannah. She was paler and skinnier than normal, but he didn't say anything. Hannah pushed her one sleeve back revealing her bandages. Spencer grabbed her hand.

"Hannah," he said. She pulled it away.

"I'm trying to stop. I don't want to keep living like this. I want to be myself again. So treat me like someone who's got a lot to live for and doesn't linger on the past because that's who I want to be," she said.

* * *

It had been six months six since 9/11. Hannah was so focused on getting better that she called one day in January to tell Spencer that she wasn't in the right place to be in a relationship. They still loved each other and once Hannah promised that they'd get back together when she got through everything Spencer was totally okay with it. Hannah called him all the time. He was there even at early morning hours to talk to her after a nightmare or panic attack. He was always there for her whenever she needed it. She was back at school and participating in all of her classes. People treated her differently almost like they were sorry for her. She didn't like it. She just wanted everything to go back the way it was, but that wasn't going to happen. She had finished her spring semester. She got out a week before they did at MIT so she took a train to Massachusettes. She was avoiding planes for a while and had no intention of driving there. She called him.

"Hey," she said.

"Hannah. Hi. You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just tired. You know the weather's pretty nice in Cambridge?" she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Sunny. It was raining when I left New York. Think you could take some time from your trigonometry or whatever you're doing to spend some time with me?" she asked.

"Of course... Where are you?" he said.

"Outside of the library."

Reid collected his things and walked out the door. She knew him so well. Hannah ran up to him and hugged him. She held on to him and he held on to her. Two minutes and he would've never been able to do this again.

"I missed you," she said with her arms still around him.

"I missed you too," he said. She let go and tucked a piece of wind blown hair behind her ear. Spencer looked at her.

"What is this?" he asked grabbing her hands and held them revealing her wrists. She had two tatoos. Never and Forget.

"I promised I'd stop. I just couldn't keep looking at the scars." she said. He smiled a little. "Show me around campus. Tell me about what's been going on with you."

"You first," he said.

"Fine. They put me on antidepressants. Dr. Shawes is helping a lot. I don't blame myself as much anymore. Now I dont want to talk about this. I want to talk about how the smart people at MIT live." she said.

"I'll show you around," he said. They walked around for a little.

"How's your mom?" she asked.

"Good. She asked about you in her last letter. She wanted to know how you were doing." he answered. She smiled.

"She is a really great woman," she said.

"Want to get lunch?" he asked.

"I'd love to," she said and grabbed his hand.


	5. The Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Newest chapter. I hope you guys enjoy. Skipped a little, but it's okay. Reviews are appreciated!**

3 Years later...

Hannah's phone rang at eleven. Spencer and Hannah had just recently started their relationship again. Hannah had graduated college a year ago and had been dealing with the accident better.

"Hey Spencer," she answered.

"Were you asleep?" he asked.

"No, why? What's up?" she asked.

"I've been thinking and..." Reíd began to say.

"Do you want me to come over?" she interrupted,"I feel like this is going to. Be a long conversation."

"Uh yeah sure," he said.

"Cool. I really need to get moving on this apartment thing. The whole living with my parents thing is too much," she said and he laughed.

"I'll see you soon," he said and hung up.

Hannah ran upstairs and grabbed some clothes and her keys. She got into her car and drove to Spencer's apartment. It had been almost three years since Hannah's accident and she only started driving ny herself two years ago. Reíd had moved to DC after he graduated from MIT and Hannah had moved to Baltimore with her parents. She just started a new job and was looking for an apartment. She got out of her car and walked up to Reid's door and knocked. He opened it.

"Hi," she said hugging him. She pulled away and he smiled. She sat down on the couch and he sat down next to her.

"So you were thinking..." she said.

"Yeah. Um... Be honest with me. When I'm done I want you to be completely honest," he said.

"Deal," she said.

"Ok. So you know how I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life?" he asked and she nodded."I think I found something."

"You're not going to like Harvard Law for a law degree are you? I think your chemistry, math, and engineering degree is enough," she smiled.

"You forgot psychology,"Spencer said with a smile.

"Oh I'm sorry. Doctor Reid," she said and they both laughed. "Continue."

"I've been talking to a Jason Gideon. Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon to be specific. He thinks that the FBI could use my skills." he said nervously.

"The FBI?" she asked.

"He's part of the behavioral analysis unit and they go around the country profiling killers, terrorists, and other criminals. It's all psychology. It's really fascin..."

"Wait... Stop... Around the country? Catching killers?" she asked concerned.

"Yeah. Hannah think of all of the people I would be helping if I did this," he said.

"Its so dangerous and you probably won't be home a lot," she said.

"I know. That's where I thought I'd lose you. Hannah if you don't want me to do this..." he said quietly. She shook her head.

"Spencer, everything you've done for me in the past three years. It's been about me and you worrying if I'm okay, if I'm having a good day or a bad day. You need something for you and if you think that you want to do it. I'm going to be completely honest with you like you told me to be. I think you should do it," she said.

"Really?" he said, "Are you sure?"

"Spencer, I'm one hundred and ten percent sure. I want you to be happy. We can and we will make it work," she said and smiled.

"I didn't think it would be this easy," he said.

"What? Telling me? I'm going to have to get used to it when you start to leave, but now I'm okay," she said. She smiled slightly.

"What?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know if it's because we've been dealing with a lot..." she began to say but stopped.

"What?" he asked again.

"I love you," she said, "I don't know why it took so long to say because I've wanted to say it for so long."

Reíd looked at her. He thought the next few words would be impossible to say. It was a shock how easily they came out.

"I love you too," he said. She smiled. She looked down.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Reíd asked her.

"I'm fine," she smiled, "Have you told your mom about this?"

"Yeah... That's gonna take some planning. I don't think she'll take it as well as you did."

It was almost one thirty in the morning.

"Want to go to bed?" Reíd asked.

"Sure," she said. They walked into his room.

"Hey Spence," she said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I'm really glad you found something that makes you happy," she said and kissed him. She pulled back and smiled and kissed him again. Before both of them knew it Hannah was undressing him and she was doing the same to him. They had talked about sleeping with each other but never did it. They were in bed together within minutes. He ran his hands down her body and she smiled.

"We shouldn't have waited so long. i'm sorry," she said out of breath and then placed her lips back on his. After about a half hour they both laid down next to each other.

"Hannah..." he said quietly.

"Spencer Reid," she said,"Wow."

Hannah moved closer to Reid.

"I really do love you," Hannah said. Reid kissed her and they both fell asleep.

* * *

Spencer had been at the FBI acadamy for five months. They hadn't talked in a while and he still had two more months of training left. He would write the occasional letter and Hannah would answer him, but she did miss him a lot. He reassured her that this was the longest time he'd be away and she reassured him that he had nothing to worry about. It was his last week before he went home and he was excited to finally see Hannah again. Before he could go home though, he had to meet his new team. He had spent a great deal of time with Jason Gideon during his training learning what it takes to become a member of the BAU. Agent Gideon was mpressed by Spencer's mind and the obscure things he was able to do. He would ask Spencer's opinions on cases the team was working on just to make sure this kid was the real deal. Reid met his team for the first time in January. There was his Unit Cheif SSA Aaron Hotchner. He was firm and always wore a suit and definitely looked like he would be the team leader. There was SSA Derek Morgan. He was all muscle and Reid made a mental note to remind himself never to get on his bad side. Jennifer Jereau, she insisted he call her JJ because all of her friends did. She was the pretty blonde media liason who looked put together. Penelope Garcia, though not yet considered a member of the BAU. Reid was shocked a woman like her worked in the FBI. Compared to other female employees, her bright clothes seemed out of place.

"Dr. Reid, it is a pleasure to meet you," Agent Hotchner said sticking out his hand. Reid shook it.

"You too sir," Reid said quietly.

"I was hestant to bring another member into the team, but if Jason Gideon thinks you can be a member of the BAU, then he's probably right. I have no doubts that you will be a great addition to the team," Agent Hotchner said. Agent Hotchner stood up and walked Reid into the BAU conference room where the rest of the team was sitting. Hotch and Gideon hadn't talked much about the new member of the team, but they were definitely not expecting an agent who just graduated from the acadamey.

"This is Dr. Spencer Reid," Jason Gideon said. The team members introduced themselves. Reid was shocked no one had asked the question yet.

"So, Dr.?" JJ asked. There it was.

"Yeah," Reid said. Normally he'd leave it at that, but from Gideon's advice these people were going to be like family and would know almost everything in time."I uh graduated high school at 12 and I have three doctorates from MIT and CalTech," he finished. Usually he got a judgemental stare or blown off, but these people were different.

"Three doctorates. Nice," Penelope said. He smiled weakly.

"We're not really supossed to let you start until after you graduate, but we have a profile Miami PD wants," Hotch said. JJ explained the case, showed crime scene pictures, and the team began spouting theories. Reid hadn't talked yet.

"I think they're looking for a college aged student," Morgan said. Reid studied the picture and Morgan's theory seemed plausible.

"If they are they're probably looking for an undergraduate science major. Biology, Pre-Med, Pathology, Pre-Vet are possible. The incision marks show that there is some kind of training so whoever is doing this isn't a freshman and probably not a sophomore although it wouldn't help to hard thing is trying to find a student. There are five major universities in Miami alone, along with one community college. There's 15,743 students enrolled in the University of Miam alone." Reid said. The team looked at him.

"Damn kid. Why did we wait so long to get you?" Morgan asked. Reid wasn't sure what it was, but he was really going to like it here.

* * *

Hannah flung her arms around Reid and kissed him.

"I missed you," she said. She stepped back and looked at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm dating an FBI agent," she said, "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," he said. He grabbed her hand and they drove back to DC. Hannah and Reid walked along the Potomac River. He talked about the team members.

"I have a question," Hannah said.

"Yeah," Reid said.

"Can I trust these people because I really don't want anything to happen to you?" Hannah asked.

"If I can trust them, so can you," Reid said.


	6. Lila Archer

**Next chapter! **

It had been about a year since Reid joined the FBI. Hannah and him were taking a little bit of a break. They were really focused on their careers, but they Had feelings for each other. They had just got back from a case in Los Angeles. Spencer had gotten a little close with a victim and was talking to Morgan about it.

"Goodnight, Romeo," Derek said and left.

Reid laughed and threw the magazine into the trash and thought about it for a second, picked it up, and put in his desk drawer. He stood up, grabbed his coat, and walked out. He was sitting in his car and new what he had to do. She was going to see it eventually. He would've asked Morgan how to handle this whole situation, but he wasn't ready to tell the team about Hannah. And this whole Lila Archer thing didn't make any more appealing to tell them. He thought about driving over to Hannah's apartment in Alexandria, or maybe just wait until the weekend to talk to her about. He called her after every case when he got home so she knew he was safe, but as soon as he started his car, she called him.

"Hi Hannah," he said.

"Are you home?" she asked.

"We just landed about a half hour ago, I was going to call you," he said.

"Yeah. How was LA?" she asked.

"It was good, just good? Are you sure because from the cover of this magazine, it seems like you had a REALLY good time. It looks like you had a GREAT time," she said.

"Look. I was trying to explain transference to her and she just... She pulled me in... I was doing my job," he stuttered trying to get himself out of this.

"So part of your job includes catching killers and making out with celebrities?" she said.

"You're mad," he said.

"Mad, no. I'd be mad if it was some random chick you picked up. I mean we're taking a little bit of a break, and you end up in a pool with an actress in a bikini at her house and her lips are on yours." she paused. "Did you enjoy it?" she asked.

I mean... No. I... I didn't. But being with her. It made me realize how lucky I am to have you." he said.

"You're trying to get yourself out of this aren't you?" she asked a little amused with his attempts.

"Is it working?" he asked. ]

"If anything like this happens again..." she said. Reid could tell she was smiling when she said that.

"It wont. I promise you that. You're the only one i want to be with," he said.

"Can you come over?" she asked, "You can just leave tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," he said. He was so tired he didn't even feel like stopping at home. He ended up at Hannah's apartment in about 45 minutes. She let him in and he looked at her.

"I'm really sorry," he said.

"Apology accepted," she said and kissed him. She smiled.

"You know this gives me the incentive to hold this against you for the rest of your life," she said.

"I'm pretty sure I could dig up some thing about your past romances. All of them," he said.

"All of them? What are you implying?" she asked with a smile.

"Nothing at all. I'm just saying..." he said. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

"I'd take you over Lila Archer any day," he said. She smiled and kissed him.

Somewhere in the apology and jokes they ended up in bed looked at each other for a second and she smiled.

"So much for that break," she said. He smiled and placed his lips back on hers and they continued.

* * *

They both woke up the next morning how they fell asleep naked and together. Hannah's alarm went off at seven and they both jumped.

"Its seven. I'm supposed to be at work in a half hour," he said getting dressed.

"You better get home. You walk into work wearing what you wore yesterday and it's a given walk of shame," she said sitting up. He looked at her.

"Yeah and they don't really know about us yet," he said

"It's been a year. I think you've reached a point where you can trust these people," she said.

"It's not that. I just don't want anything to happen to you," he said. She smiled.

"Now shut up and leave before you have to explain to your team why you're late?" he kissed her cheek and left. "Call me! I Love you," she yelled.

"I will," he yelled back before he shut the front door. She heard the door close and laid back down and smiled.

Reid walked into work about twenty minutes late.

"Spencer Reid, late?" Morgan asked.

"I never thought I'd see that in my life," Elle said.

"I uh, I forgot to set my alarm last night," Reid lied. He was in a room full of profilers and wasn't sure if he'd get away with it. Even he didn't believe the thing he just said.

"He was too busy dreaming about Ms. Lila Archer," Morgan teased. "I guess pretty boy does have some game."

"Are you gonna call her again," JJ asked.

"I don't think so. The whole long distance relationship and Hollywood thing, I'm not really looking for that," Reid said.

"So then, what are you looking for?" Morgan asked. Reid wanted to say "Nothing" but he just shrugged.

"I'll help you out man," Morgan said and Reid just smiled.


	7. It's a Personal Thing

Reid was getting antsy. It was September 10th and tomorrow would be six years since 9/11. He was sitting at work. Almost three years into the job and no one ever asked him. It was the first time he was actually going to ask for a day off. He faked sick and called out last year, but he was hoping Hotch didn't remember that far back. Morgan had snuck a few folders on Reid's pile.

"I'm not doing these," Reid said.

"Come on kid, you can bang them out tomorrow morning. Help a brother out," Morgan said.

"No,"he said. The team looked at Reid shocked.

"I have to talk to Hotch," he said and stood up. Reid walked up the steps and knocked on Hotch's door.

"Hey Reid," he said looking up. Reid walked in and stood in front of Hotch's desk.

"Take a seat," Hotch said and Reid sat down.

"I uh... I need off tomorrow," Reid said. Hotch looked up.

"You?" he asked. Reid nodded."What for?"

"Its a... a personal thing," he said.

"Care to share?" Hotch asked. Reid shook his head.

"Well you have a lot of vacation days. So take a day. If you want to talk about it Reid, I'm here," Hotch said.

"No. Thanks Hotch," Reid said.

"Of course," Hotch said. Reid left his office and walked back to his desk and got his things together.

"Reid can you please take some of these?" Morgan asked.

"No," Reid answered.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I'm not," he said and left. Morgan looked at JJ and Emily. Prentiss shrugged. Hotch walked down the stairs from his office.

"Hey Hotch," Morgan asked.

"Yes," he responded walking over towards his desk.

"What's up with Reid?" he asked.

"I think he's just going through some stuff, he'll be back on Wednesday," Hotch said.

"He's not going to be here tomorrow?" Emily asked. Hotch shook his head.

"Didn't he call out last September 11th?" Morgan asked.

"Why do you remember that?" JJ asked.

"When Reid is actually not at work, thats a day worth remembering," Morgan said.

"Maybe he knew some people," Emily said.

"Just let him live his life. If you want to ask him on wednesday then do it," Hotch said.

"We could ask Garcia to check," Morgan said. Hotch looked at him.

"Morgan, do not even think about doing that. You're not to ask Garcia for information on Reid and thats an order," Hotch said sternly. Morgan nodded.

"I'll see you all tomorrow," he said and walked out of the glass doors. Morgan looked at JJ and Emily.

"Morgan, Reid's always been private. We can't snoop through his life," she said.

"Fine," he said.

* * *

The next morning Reid drove to Alexandria, VA. He pulled up in front of Hannah's apartment. He knew she was taking off from work today, but she had no idea he did. He knocked on her door. She opened it slowly.

"Hi," she said quietly. She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the door. She hugged him.

"Is it bad I'm still upset after six years?" she asked. He wiped a tear from her cheek.

"No. You have every right to be upset as long as you want. You lost a lot of people and... I almost lost you," he said.

Hannah walked over to her couch and sat down. She had CNN on and was watching President Bush speak.

"I don't know why I watch stuff like this," she said quietly. He put his arm around her and she leaned on his shoulder.

"Everyone deals with tragedy differently," he said.

"And for some reason I just remind myself about everything," she said,"Can we go to lunch later? I don't want to be here all day."

"Anything you want," he said.

* * *

"Hey Reid," Morgan said.

"Hi," He said and sat down at his desk.

"Are you feeling better?" JJ asked.

"I wasn't sick. I just took a personal day," he said.

"You never take off Reid!" Morgan said,"You were off last year around the same time."

"And," Reid said.

"Is it coincidental?" Morgan asked. Hotch and Gideon walked up to their desks.

"Stop," Reid said annoyed.

"Reid we're your team. You can tell us anything," Morgan said. Reíd looked at him.

"Fine. It isn't coincidental. Its

Just that I knew some people who died in the World Trade Center," he said.

"Wow. Sorry," Morgan said.

"I don't want to talk about it," Reid said. His team didn't know about Hannah and he was pretty sure he was going to keep it that way. It wasn't that he didn't want his team to know. He just didn't want work to get to her.


	8. Georgia

It was February of 2006. It had been a rough few days for Reid and it was going to get harder. He couldn't sleep and his mind still had vivid flashback of the cold, dark shed where he almost died. He called Hannah after every case and he needed some kind of normalcy after what he just went through. He didn't want her to ask any questions and he didn't want to talk about it. He was still tired, in pain, and struggling to put the last few days together.

Hannah's phone rang.

"Hi Spencer!" she said happily.

"I'm back from Georgia," he said. There was something about the way he said that. It wasn't happy, it wasn't sad, it was distant.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Great," he answer. Hannah knew it was a lie. He was always bad at lying.

"Was it a bad one?" she asked.

"Yeah. I don't want to talk about it," he said.

"That's fine. Go home and relax. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you," she said. Hannah normally wouldn't question Spencer's behaviors. Once in a while he would have a bad case, but whenever Hannah told him she loved him he would say it back.

Hannah kept calling him. She left him messages and he wasn't calling her back. It had been about a week. She thought maybe he was just preoccupied with work. If there was something seriously wrong he'd tell her. She called him one more time that day and he answered.

"Hello?" he asked.

"What you getting tired of me so you're not answering my calls?" she asked. Normally he would've laughed at Hannah's remark, but that wasn't the mood he was in.

"I'm just tired," he answered coldly. Hannah was shocked over his tone.

"Then I'll let you go to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow, goodnight," she said with a hint of confusion.

"Night," he said and hung up. That was so unlike him. It was as if Spencer was a totally different person.

It had been two days and they hadn't talked. She figured she'd stop by his apartment to see if she could talk to him. She knocked on the door and got no response. She called him and she could here his phone from inside.

"Spencer," she said. "Spence, I know you're home."

He opened the door.

"What?" he said annoyed.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You haven't talked to me in days and you're not yourself." she said.

"Sorry I've been a little busy with work. I can't just have a few nights to myself," he said with attitude.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Nothing Hannah. Do you get it? Nothing is wrong with me!" he said louder.

"Clearly," she said.

"Hannah just back off okay?" he said.

"No. I'm not. I've seen you upset but I've never seen this," she said acknowledging his exhausted demeanor.

"You know. I gave you your space. So just let me have mine!" he said.

"Are you saying you don't want to see me anymore?" she asked.

"Yes Hannah! I don't need you in my life right now so just leave!"

"What happened to you?" she whispered with tears in her eyes.

"Just leave," he said. Hannah shook her head.

"Fine," she said. She turned around and slammed his apartment door. Reid stood there. He knew he just let the most important thing in his life walk out the door, but he shrugged it off. He walked upstairs and picked up the syringe and his vial of Dilaudid. That was all he needed.

Hannah sat in the car. She was so mad at him for being like that. She wasn't buying the whole "Nothing's wrong" thing and drove home. She walked into her mom's house, slammed the door to her room, and started to cry. She was hoping to God that Spencer wasn't serious and she would wake up with a voicemail apologizing. She cried herself to sleep and when she woke up and checked her phone she had no voicemails.

They both moved on with their lives. Hannah thought about texting him, but didn't. Once in a while Reid would think about her but the thoughts disappeared when the drugs helped him out. It had been almost a month. She drove over to his apartment and let herself in with the key.

"Spencer?" she said. The lights were off but she turned them on. His place was a mess and as soon as she realized he wasn't home she started cleaning it. She cleaned everything then brought all his clothes and sheets to get washed and drove back. She put his stuff away and fell asleep on his couch. She woke up around three she was still there, she jumped up and drove home in case he returned home. Reid was in New Orleans. They were on the flight home and he was trying to sleep so he wasn't thinking about taking some Dilaudid. He tossed and turned. His team knew something was up. Gideon talked to him, but he knew Morgan and Emily were still mad he missed the plane to Texas and he still couldn't stop thinking about Hannah. He closed his eyes and hoped time would go faster so he could just go home and lose himself. He walked in the door around 5am. He turned the light on and noticed his apartment was spotless. The dishes were done, the trash taken out, his food was put away. He walked upstairs all of his books were back on their shelves and his bed looked like it was made and then neatly folded back so he could get right in. All the clothes he left on the floor were in his closet. He didn't know whether to be angry or thankful. He was too tired to care he changed into pajamas and threw what he wore that day onto the floor. He tossed and turned for an hour. He looked across the room at his bag. He really didn't want to but he couldn't stop. He got up and took out the syringe. Spencer sat on the bed, opened the vial, and rolled up his sleeve. It took a little longer than normal but they started to have an affect on him. He fell asleep and woke up the next day at 2 in the afternoon. He did absolutely nothing all day. He barely ate. He just sat on the couch thinking until he decided to go back upstairs. He walked into his room and picked the clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper. He laid back in bed and fell asleep. He woke up at 2 am after a horrible nightmare. He was shaking and he had tears in his eyes.

Hannah was sleeping when the sound of her phone ringing woke her up. She looked at the clock: 3:04. She felt around her nightstand for her phone. She didn't even bother to check who was calling.

"Hello?" she said tiredly.

"Hannah," Reid said quietly.

"Spencer?" she said sitting up.

"I...I..." he said dazed.

"Spencer?" she asked urgently.

"I really need you right now," he said in tears.

"I'll be right there," she said. Hannah grabbed a bag and stuffed clothes in it and drove to Spencer's. She got to his door and unlocked it.

"Spencer?" she said.

"I'm so sorry," he said. She followed the voice to the bathroom. Spencer was sitting in the floor holding a syringe in his hand. His sleeves were rolled up. Hannah looked down at him and noticed the track marks in his arm.

"Spencer," she said in disbelief and knelt down in front of him. He looked up at her.

"This isn't my fault," he said dazed, "I didn't want to do it."

She took the syringe out of his hand and placed it on the sink. Hannah fought tears.

"I don't understand," she said quietly.

"Just stay with me," he said. She helped him off of the floor and get to his bed. She could tell he was weak and tired. He laid down in bed and she sat next to him. He laid there with his eyes closed. He slowly moved his arm and grabbed her hand.

"You're welcome," she whispered. Spencer eventually fell asleep, but Hannah laid there awake. She couldn't believe Spencer was addicted to drugs. She silently cried herself to sleep. Hannah woke up at 10 the next morning and sat up. She looked at Spencer who was still sleeping. She felt kind of relieved when she noticed he was still breathing. She didn't know what he was taking or how much. She made herself tea and sat at the table. Spencer walked downs a half hour later looking exhausted. Hannah looked at him with red tear-stained eyes.

"I want to stop" he said.

"Really? Because you have to want to do this. Because I don't want to come here and see you... I love you... Spencer I don't want to bury you," she said crying. He hugged her.

"Hannah you have to help me," he said. She nodded and wiped her eyes. He

sat down and she got up to make him breakfast.

"I know you haven't eaten in days," she said.

"I hurt you," he said. She stood up and grabbed her keys. "Where are you going?"

"I need more things from my apartment. I'm not leaving you by yourself to do this," she said. She closed the door and left.

Hannah had been staying at Spencer's for about two weeks. He was doing a lot better. She would talk to him when he wanted to use, but she still didn't know why he started in the first place.

They both fell asleep one night and Hannah woke up from Reid tossing and turning.

"Spencer wake up!" she said. He jumped awake and started shaking. Nights like this were more common because his withdrawal symptoms were mixing with his nightmares. She grabbed his hand.

"I'm right here," she said, "You don't need it. You've been doing so well."

He looked at her.

"T-Tobias Hankle. He was the unsub. JJ and I split up and I woke up in a shed. He wa-wanted me to pick the next victim. I didn't want to. He had three personalities. Tobias gave me dilaudid to help. I didn't want it. Hannah I didn't want it. He asked me to pick a member of my team to die. I c-couldn't do that. I shot him," he said after he say up. She hugged him.

"He can't hurt you any more. He can't force you to do anything. He's gone and you're not. You'll get through this Spencer," she said. She held onto him. He was still shaking and she couldn't help but think that there was a lot more to the story he wasn't telling her. She wasn't going to make him say anymore. He'd talk about it when he was ready.


End file.
